Silence

Stressful situations and can't beat opportunities have a tendency to bring out the true colors in people. I know it is during these times that I begin to see the real person I am. I think that is why I find what the Savior did so extraordinary. No level of distress, pain, or heartache could deter him from his purpose.

I have come to discover recently that certain aspects of my life, for some reason beyond my comprehension, have been kicking me in the face. I made reference to this in the introduction of this blog so, yes, this is one of those posts. I won't burden you, the most important person in the world, with details that you do not need but will hopefully paint the picture enough detail to keep your interest and get the point across.

I love to run. I believe I have since I was in elementary school when I almost broke a six minute mile. As I've grown older, music has become an integral part of my runs. I seem to be transported into a different world where all I see ahead of me is the next point I want to reach. All I care about is running. If I get tired I turn up the music and run harder. Stopping is simply not an option. I love the feeling of the adrenaline rush that comes when you decide to push yourself a little farther, just enough to reach the next checkpoint. Then, when you get there, and you don't stop. This, as of late, has become one of my few forms of refuge. So, I ran in hopes of hiding for a while until I could figure a few things out.

I wish more than ever that that was the case today. I should have run longer.

Today I ran with the hopes of figuring things out. I ran back to places where part of my history lies, seeking for answers that seem to have been avoiding me over the last few months. I have been fighting a silent, single war of which no immediate end is in sight. A war which is fought in the silent chambers of the inner self.

And sometimes, the answer is just silence.

Christ, standing before the devils of the Sanhedrin, chose silence. He chose to bear his burden alone for he knew it was the only way. I imagine his eyes were fixed on his destination, his body pumping with adrenaline as he slowly approached his destination, being supported by the unbelievable power of his Father and God. One by one, nails were put into his hands, wrists, and feet; hung with common criminals he was  humiliated by men of little understanding. Then, his one support was removed from him.

God, our Father, left him alone.

In an agony never before felt, he cried out "My God, My God! Why has thou forsaken me?" Christ had to endure being on his own; the final test required for his infinite Atonement to be complete. Then, when the deed was done, he willing gave up his spirit only to take it back and conquer death three days later. Finally, triumphant, he ascended into heaven to sit on the right hand of our Father. All this with the promise that as we follow him we may one day do the same.

I am in the midst of, what seems to be, one of the most draining trials I have experienced yet I know that, one day, I will receive relief.

It is simply the silence that one must endure alone before the storm pours out its healing rain.

Roll On --Andrew